Success!!!

I finished baking the cookies around 6pm and they were a big success! Except I should have used fine salt instead of coarse kosher salt, and I should have let them bake for a little longer than 10 minutes even though the recipe calls for 8-10 minutes.

I found the snickerdood recipe on allrecipes.com and it was REALLY super easy to do and the results came out great. I honestly can't cook a damn thing and I managed to make these cookies come out, so if you ever need a snickerdoodle recipe use that one!

Anyway, after baking the cookies I went to Bao's house and his older sister Netha had her puppy and baby Aiko over! The puppy, a rat terrier, was sooo tiny and only 2 months old. He kept playing with Tequila and Tequila kept putting her mouth over his entire neck (that's how small the puppy was!). Then the dog kept trying to suck Tequila's nipples for milk, lol! Tequila was unamused when he tried to do that.

Later we went to watch Rocky Balboa. It wasn't all that bad!! (and this is coming from a GIRL that likes to watch GIRLY movies) I just had to pee really bad but I didn't want to leave the theater because it was a small theater and to get out I would have to walk in front of people, and plus I didn't want to miss the final fight scene.

All in all, today was a good day. And tomorrow is my last day in Houston. Dimsum and party it up with our 3 handles of fine liquor.

1 bottle Patron..$45.00
1 bottle Grey Goose..$30.00
1 bottle of Malibu Rum..$15.00
6 cans of pineapple juice..$5.00
ice..1.00
Puking all night on my first new year's eve as 21 = PRICELESS.

I don't know if i'll go overboard because I have to drive back to Austin the next day.

Happy early new year's if I don't have time to update!

Cookie monster me am. COOKIE??!

I love eating cookies of all sorts but lately I've been wanting to bake them from scratch too. Nothing is better than biting into a scrumptious cookie that you made yourself from scratch! It just tastes that much better because you know you made it yourself.

A few days ago I tried baking cookies at Bao's following Alton Brown's damn recipe on food network.com and guess what? They were a disaster!! They were nasty and you could taste the sugar granules when you bit into them! The only part of the recipe I didn't follow was using a stand mixer. I used a hand electric mixer instead. I wonder if that really makes the difference. I wouldn't think so..

Anyway today I feel like baking cookies again. But I'm going to go with a recipe from allrecipes.com for Snickerdoodles (everyone loves those, right??) that actually has user reviews, so I know that I'll have somewhat a higher chance of getting these right.

By the way, for those of you that don't know me well, I suck at cooking. I never cook. I never bake things from scratch. My knowledge of making food is extremely limited because nobody taught me how to cook/bake/make food when I was younger. So this is all new to me. Wish me luck!

I think my ear is infected. Great.

I got my cartilage pierced more than 2 years ago and it had healed initially. Then I took out the stud and replaced it with a loop earring and ever since then it has been going downhill.

Recently there's been a massive lump forming around the piercing on the back side and I can't get the ring out of my ear because it wasn't the type made for the cartilage. Also it hurts a lot if I try to move it too much. I'm really scared that if I go to the doctor they're going to cut off my ear or something. Seriously.

I don't know what to do. I can't get the earring out but I really need to. Sigh, I hate going to doctors too; I don't feel like getting a lecture and fat bill from them.

This is great, just great. I think it's 2006's last shit gift to me before 2007 comes. Kinda like it's trying to rain down on my excitement for the arrival of 2007.

woohoo! no work yet; my holiday is prolonged!

Yay!! Phillip, my coworker at the pharmacy, called me today and asked if I could work for him next Thursday and Friday and I said okay and then he said he would work for me this Saturday and Sunday!

Alas, my holiday is prolonged. I can celebrate New Years Eve in Houston. Finally, my first New Years where I'm actually of legal age to drink. Exicted about that..

Anyway, I got my hair cut and colored today. It was really really expensive but the stylist used three different colors on me so I guess that's what cost so much. I also got a "power dose", supposedly something really new by L'oreal where only 5 salons in Houston have as of now. It was some molecular formula that strengthens and maintains your hair when you color it and blah blah I have no idea but I love the idea of healthy hair so I just said yes. It was an additional $30 for 1 minute (1 minute is all you need for it to work supposedly). I hope it's worth it.

I'll post a pic of my new hair later if I remember to.

Now since I have more time in Houston I need to:
-go watch Pursuit of Happyness
-eat dimsum
-get my eyes checked or buy contacts
-go to the Galleria
-eat brunch on Sunday at Riojas and drink yummy Mimosa's
-other must to do's pending..


*UPDATE*


Here's a pic of my new color and shiny-ness. It's soft toooo! :]

Starbucks' Gingerbread Latte: heaven in a cup

Today Starbucks finally opened back up after 2 long days of holiday closure and I bought myself a steamy gingerbread latte! MmMmmM!! An orgasm in my mouth! This drink is so good that I drink it almost every day that I can and I am STILL not tired of it! It's warmth trickles slowly down your throat, warming the rest of your cold body. It isn't super sweet like the white chocolate mocha, which I have trouble drinking sometimes because my tastebuds reject anything too sugary. Instead it's at a perfect level in between - just enough to rescue you from the bitterness of coffee itself and just enough to guard you against cringing from too much sugar.

Either the drink is really good or I am just addicted to Starbucks gingerbread latte.

It's probably the latter, but you should go try one and see for yourself! :]

Holiday Break Coming to and End Already..

My holiday break is coming to an end because I count going back to work not part of my holidays. Anything that requires me to put effort into focusing on something like counting pills or studying new material I consider WORK.

But that's okay in a way; I think I've become a workaholic. I definitely used to be more of an alcoholic than a workaholic but now it's completely the opposite. I rarely go out anymore. It's not that I don't want to go out, it's just that I'd prefer not to anymore. Going out is fun and all, but there's so much other stuff I could be doing instead of paying to put EtOH in my body and harming my liver even more.

Just listen to me go. I think I've really settled down this year. I think that's what 2006 was all about. I mean if I had to choose one word to describe 2006, it would be just that: SETTLED DOWN. okok, that's two words, but you know what i mean.

I know that 2007 might be crazy because I have no idea what 2007 holds for me. For example, in 2006 I knew that I was going to stay in Austin for my undergraduate studies and that I'd be living in my apartment, etc. etc. But in 2007, I might be changing cities, choosing a new place to live, and having to start over at a school where I know nobody.

I guess change is good, but it can also be bad. It is just what it is, and we can either make it better or worse. But change should get it's own post because I have a lot to say on it and we'll save it for another day.

Looking back, this holiday wasn't one of the greatest I've had. Las Vegas wasn't as fun as it should have been, Christmas wasn't as cold as it should have been, and it just didn't feel like the holidays. Oh well..I guess even yeared holidays seasons are bad for me (remembering: Holiday Season '02..what a nightmare).

3 more days until 2007. Goodbye 2006, you have been .....settling for me.

Weird Dreams..

Oh yea, I had a weird ass dream last night. I dreamt that it was time for pharmacy schools to tell me if I had been accepted or not, except the way they informed all their candidates was unusual. What they did was send a group of students already in pharmacy school to each candidate's house to tell them whether they were in or not. Well I was asleep when the first two schools came by my house to tell me whether or not I got in, so they just told my mom. When I woke up, my mom told me that the first school, which represented Tx Tech didn't accept me because they never got a part of my recommendation in on time, but other than that I would have been accepted. The second school, UH, accepted me! YAY!! My mom and dad were so happy.

Then as we were celebrating, the group of students from UT came up the sidewalk and they rang the doorbell. I told my mom I didn't want to go downstairs cuz I was still in my PJs and all. She let them in and they walked straight to me regardless and introduced themselves to me one by one. What was weird was my friend from middle school, Anushree, was in the group! The thing is though that friend from middle school was always too smart for pharmacy school, she was more of a medical school type person. Anyway, after they all introduced themselves to me, Anushree told me the bad news. UT didn't accept me. And then they left and I sat there baffled. I figured it was my Q-drop classes or I didn't show them I wanted it enough.

But I was happy in a way, because I didn't have to choose whether to go to UT or UH. I would get to move home to Houston again! Then it was Orientation day, which was really weird because everything was very realistic. But then my friend who was in the UT group Anushree, was there too! She said she went to UH not UT and that really confused me. But anyway, my friend Anthony also was at orientation so he was going to be a fellow classmate of mine too. It was pretty cool...but then I woke up.

Weird, eh? So realistic, all the details fit in appropriately.. except for the Anushree discrepancy.

Oh then I had another dream later - I was shopping with Mom&Dad at some mall and I was wearing heels, but one was a higher heel than the other by an inch! I ignored it and kept walking through the mall until we got to Gucci and I couldn't take it anymore. I looked down and they were different shoes. @*()&!@ How did that happen? Well anyway, my mom bought some expensive ass $400 cream or something and we left to look for Dior so I could get my perfect sunglasses, but we couldn't find it! What a nightmare, lol. Good thing I woke up then.

Christmas Eve and Christmas are so incredibly BORING!

Wow, yesterday was the most boring night ever. For people who don't celebrate Christmas, this holiday kinda sucks. Everything is closed, all the movies at the movie theater are sold out, and there is nothing to do but bum around at home. And the worst thing about it: starbucks is closed when I crave it the most! AHHH (This coming from a coffee addict..) So I ended up going to Bao's and we were going to bake special holiday peppermint cookies, but everything was closed so we couldn't even go out to get the right ingredients. Then I fell asleep and he sat around and we were bored out of our minds. We ended up watching TV (boring!) and baking otis spunkmeyer cookies that he had in his freezer. mmm mmm, they were good!

Anyway, today is Christmas day and I am still bored. I want to go shopping, damnit! All we're doing today is eating dinner at 6 and then going out later tonight to a bar or something. Hopefully the movies won't be sold out already at the theater.

Sigh, can't wait until tomorrow - when the malls open up again! What can I say, I'm a shopaholic =)

It's Christmas Eve..!

Wow Blogger lets you upload pics?? Cool.. This is just a random picture of me on my brother's computer, taken with his logitech webcam, hee hee.

Anyway, I still can't believe it's Christmas Eve already. Another year has come and gone by so fast. I'm hoping 2007 will be a good year. Things to look forward to:
-Graduating
-Pharmacy School possibly
-Moving to another city
-Vegas sometime in the spring hopefully
-A visit to SF to eat French Laundry
-and more..

Ah, no time to update. Must go eat C. Eve Dinner. Merry Christmas to those who celebrate it, and Happy Gift Receiving to those who do not (like me).

Wheeeeeeeeeeee, and time keeps ticking.

One application almost done. Two more to go.

I was filling in all my coursework to determine my pre-pharmacy GPA and I had to go between UT's site and Tech's site to see all the conversions and to remember what I had gotten, and then by the time I finished putting all the damn grades in it was 12:14 PM, I clicked save, and it logged me out. *!(@&)^#!)(@ does that mean all my hard work and effort was just erased because Tech is too dumb to let people apply after midnight? What kind of retarded policy is that?!?! Their application site sucks too, it keeps logging me out if I click too fast or something. So sensitive, sheesh.

I went shopping again today. It's my fourth day in a row shopping. Bao bought me a really cute jacket from bebe and I got myself 3 for $25 headbands that are really cute that were $58 each at Nordstrom! I went into shiekh to find my cute mink boots, but all I found were ghetto people and ugly shoes, so I just ordered them online.

I also found this pair of $300 Dior sunglasses that look really good on me. Too bad they are $300! I gotta find another pair that's cheaper that looks just as good. I KNOW it's out there, I just gotta look I guess.

We ate at a restaurant called Indika today. They serve modern Indian cuisine. Everything was good and spicy, even the lamb. I don't like lamb because of the after taste that I'm not used to yet, but this lamb was flavored so heavily that the after taste was not as dominant as it is usually. Mmm I had forgotten how good Indian food was. *Sigh too bad I'll have burning poops tomorrow though, haha.

Okay, enough procrastinating. On to the UH application! Time is ticking away!!

mm mm gelato!

My new craze: gelato. I've always liked ice cream but hated it too because of how fattening it was.

Well today I opened up the freezer and there's 3 tubs of frozen treats in the freezer: one Blue Bell gallon of cherry vanilla, one pint of Haagen Daaz light rich vanilla bean, and one rectangular container of Peach Gelato. I decide to try to Gelato first and I'm glad I did! It's so light and fluffy yet flavorable!! And guess what?? It has only 2-8% fat, whereas American ice cream has 16-30% fat!! woohooooooooo.

Gelato is my new best friend. mmmm..


Another food that I have discovered to be tastemasmic of late is SQUASH! mm it is so sweet and delectable when cooked right or put in soups/ravioli. Mm yellow squash, who would have known??

Veeh's back. Tell a friend.

I'm baaaaack. Why I titled this entry so I have no idea, because honestly I hate Eminem. He's a good rapper but for some reason I don't like the way his voice sounds when he raps. It annoys my princess ears.

Anyway, Las Vegas was nice, but not as enjoyable as I had hoped it to be. Why? Well, because my parents are my parents, and they will always treat me like I'm a baby, because I am their baby. But it gets annoying when you're 21 and you can do almost anything you want at this point in your life, except maybe rent a car or something (I think that's not allowed until you 25, no?). I don't really enjoy my mom telling me to wash my face or brush my teeth when I'm watching TV or reading. I know when to do it on my own; I'm not 8 anymore! Other than that, the food and amenities were nice.

Wynn is overhyped. Save your money (it's very expensive at that too!) for somewhere better, like Bellagio or the Venetian. All the other hotels have a special theme or things to do, except the Wynn. The Wynn has nothing. It imitates Bellagio yet has nothing extra to offer to save itself. And it's newer so I would expect it to top Bellagio, but it sure was a let down. For example, Bellagio has the conservatory and the water show, in addition to it being very spacey and nice. The Venetian has the gondola ride, Caesar's palace has the huge forums and architecture. What does Wynn have??? Once again, NOTHING!

The food was good in Vegas, but now I feel like a lard ass. Time to get back into shape again. I feel a new year's resolution forming.

Suprisingly, I didn't spend that much either. I went shopping on all three days at three different locations and only spent about $400. I thought I was going to spend more like $1000. Well if you add shows and spa, I guess it becomes $1000. There's a few things that I couldn't find worth buying: sunglasses, a good puffy jacket, and a Chanel purse. I guess if I had bought those three last things, I would've gone over $1000.

Okay, it's 8:00 AM and I have no idea why I am still up. Time to crash. Pictures later.

Okay, I lied. I think I'm addicted to posting.

Okay, so I said no more posts until after Las Vegas. I lied.

I think I'm addicted to posting here. It's therapeutic in it's own way -writing for no audience, and just for yourself.

So of course, I couldn't sleep again last night. I think I have a sleeping disorder. You know, the one where you can't sleep the night before you have something important like work at 8am or a career-changing test at 9am or a flight out to las vegas at 9:20 am. Wait, that's not a disorder, it's just anxiety.

Maybe I should go see a doctor for anti-anxiety drugs or something, since it seems to be such a "problem" here in the States only. That and pain. Maybe I should tell him I'm in pain too.

I can't believe the U.S. has so many anxious people that are in pain. And depressed at that too. Where am I getting this information from?? The top 200 most prescribed drugs, of course. Vicodin tops the list, so I guess everyone and their mom is in pain. I believe alprazolam/xanax is up there too.

I think we're a bunch of wussies. Why can't we deal with pain, anxiety, or depression ourselves without hte help of drugs? Ok, pain may be intense in some cases so I'm a little iffy on that drug. Most of the time we can just grit our teeth and deal with it but sometimes those painkillers really help. But anti-anxiety pills? Come on. Shut your mouth and deal with it. Nobody needs alprazolam. Seriously.

And depression? Have you heard the commercials?? There's one that goes 'research has shown that 70% of adults who are currently on depression meds are still depressed." HELLO!! Wake up call! That means that your depression is NOT a chemical imbalance, it's ALL IN YOUR HEAD! Well, in 70% of the people that were tested at least.

All of this and a lot of other diseases people suffer from could be remedied by working out and eating well. Ok, well maybe not remedied perse, but alleviated. Like being overweight, having high blood pressure or cholestrol, being depressed, having late stage diabetes. Get off your bum and go work out!

Okay that's enough ranting. As you can see, I have not had enough sleep. 1 hr of sleep + long day ahead = grumpy vivian. Sigh, it is going to be a looooooooooooong day.

Las Vegas or bust

Goin' to the city of sin in t-minus 4 hours. Well actually it's in t-minus 8 hours, but I have to be up at 5AM to get ready for departure, so it feels like 4 hours.

I'm staying at the Wynn hotel, and with my parents. I'm kind of excited, but not as excited as I should be because I'm going with my parents. They want to do tourist-like things and sight see, when all I want to do is gamble and shop, along with a drink or two. *sigh, and the worst part of it is my baby isn't going to be there with me. :[ Boo, I know Las Vegas won't be the same wihout him.

I'll miss you baby. You and Tequila.. Keep each other company for me.



No updates while I'm in Vegas; iBOOK stays safely tucked away in Houston.

The future scares me, a lot.

What does the future hold? Will UT accept me? Will UH accept me? Will Tx Tech accept me? My probabilities and statistics research say yes, but who knows? There's always that percent chance that goes against me.

What am I going to do for a year if I don't get in anywhere? Will I actually go to Lubbock for 3 years if no other school accepts me? I can barely stand being in Austin after 4 years because the city is too small for me. And Austin ain't a small city compared to Lubbock.. How will I survive being in a small town like Lubbock with zero amenities?

I have already accepted the fact that I might not get in, but I don't think my parents have. I asked my dad what will I do for a year if I don't get in? And he replied, Don't worry you will get in. That reply worries me, because he already expects that I will get in. It's going to be a huge disappointment to him if I don't. More pressure...ack! I thrive on pressure, however..

Sigh. Send me my damn PIN Number Texas Tech! ARG!

Feeling sick, oh no!

I feel nauseous and tired. Am I getting sick? I surely hope not, because I'm leaving to LAS VEGAS on Tuesday. I have to be in top condition to eat all the expensive food I can!

Short update today. Feeling too shitty to write more.

Insomnia strikes, which is unusual..

I can sleep whenever and wherever, usually. In fact, I can take uppers (products with caffeine or .. other.. substances that we shall not discuss today) and go to sleep after taking them while other people stay up for many hours afterwards, unable to sleep. I just lay down in my comfy bed, turn on my right or left side in the fetal position with blanky, and fall right asleep. And that usually happens within 10-15 minutes, if not sooner.

But today I tried to go to sleep around 1:20 AM. At 2:00 AM Tequila comes in trying to hide her bone in my hand, so I get up to go pee. Then, I try to sleep again until 2:40 AM. Still can't sleep. All I get is tossing and turning. So I get up, and here I am, updating my journal. Great.. I have to be up at 8AM for work. *!@&)(#

Oh well. So there's this quote on Jimmy John's wall that goes something like "A person is not truly friendly if they're nice to you. A person's friendliness can only judged by how they treat their waiter." When I read it I didn't think anything of it at first, but now the more I think about it, the quote is sooo right.

The way people treat their waiters shows what kind of person they are. Just because a waiter is supposed to be your 'servant' for the time being at wherever you're eating, doesn't mean you have to treat them like shit. For example, if you treat your waiter rudely, then you are most likely a rude person. If you treat your waiter nicely, then you are most likely a nice, fun to be around type of person.

Anyway, I've come to realize that this quote applies not only to waiters but to your Wal-mart Pharmacy cashiers/technicians. People that treat ME like shit just because I don't wear a white coat (meaning I'm not the pharmacist) ARE shit. Just because I'm the 'cashier/technician' who isn't as high up as the pharmacist doesn't mean you have the right to judge whether or not I'm trying my best or not. People who are really nice and suck up to the pharmacist when they're mean to the cashier/technician are shitty people. They're pathetic and fake and need to just die.

I hate how when I say something and then the pharmacist says the same exact thing, the customer finally decides to take his word for it, when I had been saying the same thing a few times over to them. It's like they need the white coat to actually reinforce something that I already KNOW is right. It annoys me much, and I hate this aspect of retail pharmacy.

*sigh, but it's where the money's at. And money is what I live for, unforunately. My high maintenance ways prohibit me from thinking any other way, and I'm not about to change anytime soon.

oh no she di(d)n't!!

Read the title out loud, in a ghetto bitchy female voice.
that's what i had to deal with today at work.

oh wait, that happens almost at least once EVERY day at work, oops. I forgot to mention that.

I'm beginning to get tired of two categories of people. The first, which is not half as bad as the second, are what I like to call BCB's. What does BCB stand for? Birth Control Bitches. yes, that's right. birth control bitches. There's a few gals that waltz into the pharmacy demanding their birth control and either a) the insurance won't cover it, or b) the damn thing was out of refills already. So, being overdosed on hormones already, they proceed to blame everything on us even though it's really all their fault, because both insurance and your prescription running out of refills are out of our control. Anyway, I can think of 3 of these off the top of my head; I don't know their names but I know their faces.

The second category of people are the worst and I hate them the most. They are the rude people who are on Medicaid. First of all, stop your yapping. You get your damn drugs for free, funded by the money the government steals from my paycheck every 2 weeks. That's right, the tax money from the hours I put in at my work pay for the damn drugs for your leech ass. I really don't like this aspect of the government, which throws towards supporting the Republican side. Why should my hard-earned money go towards people who are lazy? Why should I pay for some kid's drugs just because his mom got pregnant in high school and decided to have the baby, then dropped out, and then couldn't get a job while I planned my future out and went through all these hard years in school to make myself a living? And now I gotta share some of that money with dumbasses that want to mess up their lives? People get that just because they didn't think before they did some dumbass things? Yes, we all make mistakes, but it's not fair that sometimes people get such 'rewards' for it while others didn't even make the mistake yet suffer for it.

Yes I know that my quality of living will be probably 10x better than someone who qualifies for Medicaid. But still, it's not like I was handed the quality of living; I'm working for it. Anyway, it just pisses me off when they're rude, because they have no damn place to be rude. Don't yell at me because you're Medicaid didn't go through. Sometimes I just wanna yell back, "It's called go get a fucking job, leech".

There's this one mom daughter that came in once, and the daughter was in one of those rolly chairs when she didn't really need one. She was just too fat and lazy to walk around the store (ironic, isn't it? The people who benefit most from not using those automatic chair strollers use them) and she c ame up to the pharmacy to pick her drugs for her son or daughter. Anyway they got up to the register and I asked for the last name, and it was Ralph or something but it was spelled with an E and I didn't catch that because she was yapping away on her cell phone and didn't really say out loud enough. So then I asked her again and it wouldn't pull up on the computer, so I asked a third time and they yelled the letters at me in frustration.

WTF? Am I supposed to be able to read your mind dumb bitch? Get off your damn cell phone when I'm asking you a question, ass. Anyway I got all their shit out and then the leech mom asked me a quesiton like do you have dulcolax in the back, the red tablets? And I checked and then said no, if we had it, it would be with the other Dulcolax and then she got all category 5 and said WE'RE GOING TO HEB WHERE WE CAN GET HELP.

*sigh. and so they lazily rolled away like dogs.

Today a bitch on Medicaid cussed at Al because her insurance wasn't going through. Just pay for the damn medicine if you really need it that bad, shit. I know you have 10 dollars. Just don't get your weave put in this month or something, shit.

I noticed that on the weekdays, people who don't work (and probably didn't get a good education) are the ones that come in for their drugs. On the weekends, a lot of people with blue cross blue shield or medco insurance come in, meaning they work somewhere. They are nicer on the weekends..

Ok, enough ranting. My head hurts. If I ever work in retail, I'm going to work in a rich place. Hopefully there will be less medicaid/poor people and instead more educated people. There is definitely a correlation between education and politeness.

i need a new pet project.

I get bored with things real easily. For example, I bought a nintendo DS Lite about a month ago and now I barely touch it anymore. For another example, I played Paper Mario for 30 hours in total and I'm about to beat it but I just got tired of it and stopped playing it. I have about less than hour's worth of playing to complete the game, but I havevn't touched it since the summer.

I am bored again and I need a new project. I always wanted to take up knitting, but I never learned how or had the time really. I guess now is a good time to begin. Then I can knit things for Bao to wear, like entire outfits. He'd better wear them or I'll be really hurt. I'm going to use the ugliest yarn I can find to make him pretty clothes.. =)

I always also wanted to start cooking/baking things. However, the kitchen in my Austin apartment is plain ol' nasty. It's dinky as hell, the stove and oven are as old if not older than me, the ventilation sucks, and my sink is non-functional. There's no space for cutting boards or making cookies from scratch. Why even bother? *sigh I can't wait until I go back to Houston, where the kitchen is almost as big as my living room. Then I can cook to my heart's delight :)

I guess I could always read. I love reading and I go through books like a ADHD kid goes through adderalls. I just need to go to the book store and grab a few interesting ones.. Too bad B & N is closing in.... 4 minutes. boo. Guess it's going to be knitting tonight! Thank goodness for 24 hour super centers that sell a variety of well, just about everything you could ask for.

I'M DONEEEE! but now i'm restless.

I'M DONEEEEE with this semester! YES!! but now i'm completely restless and bored. i have nothing to do. nothing to study. nothing to work on.

i am so damn bored.

it seems as if my mind needs something to keep it occupied when i'm awake. TV will occupy it but only for so many hours. i can't watch TV for more than 2 hours anymore or else i just feel so brainwashed.

maybe this explains why i'm updating this damn journal so much. i've only had it for a day and have written 4 posts in it already. wtf! i need a good book or something.

right now i'd be starting my application for texas tech pharmacy school but they have a silly policy where i can't access my application until the hours of 8am-midnight. what the hell? what kind of dumb policy is that? do they watch us while we apply or something? *sigh

the more i apply to that school the more i don't even want to go there. that makes me not even want to go through the trouble of applying, because i don't even know if i would go there if i was accepted there. that would be a really hard situation to face..

please accept me UH or UT!! pretty, pretty please with a cherry on top??

it's hot outside.

you know, it's december, the month of christmas songs. that reminds me of a song i used to sing when i was little. The one that ends with 'baby, it's cold outside'. I love singing and listening to holiday songs to get in the spirit, but I feel a little awkward singing 'it's cold outside' when it's a STEAMY 80 DEGREES OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW... in the middle of december.

what is wrong with texas weather? this year seems to have been unusually hot. i wish i could just up and move to somewhere cooler, but life is never that easy.

ahh, goddamnit. it's that time: to ask teacher for recommendations. THAT MEANS MORE WRITING!! *!@^!)&*#@

FINALLY. so goddamn relieved!

Ahh I finally finished that one paper I had been working on. Now I feel so accomplished. Watch me get a F on it. But that's impossible.... *shudders in fear*

Speaking of, I realize that I always expect to get high grades on my tests. Does that mean I have a big academic ego? Well it doesn't really mean I do or don't, because I already know I do. Getting A's on tests doesn't really help it get smaller either. Despite its size, I still wish I was smarter,

Always.

On a different note, as I was finishing writing discussion, my neighbors started arguing outside. James, the friendly one that lives a few doors down, was yelling at some annoying chick that lived on a floor beneath us. I don't know what she did but I'm already automatically on James' side, because someone on that floor had a huge party earlier which annoyed the shit out of me when I was napping. He kept screaming "SHE HAS AIIIIDS" because she was trying to leave and go have sex with her boyfriend or something. lol. That's a good one to remember next time.

A word on Comments.

I have decided to disable comments. I always felt like having comments on a page created additional pressure on the author to write something for the audience.

I feel a journal is not to be written for an audience, however, but instead to function as a place where you can record your own thoughts.

I've been trying to do that on xanga, but with the whole comments thing and subscription list, it's just hard to express your own thoughts honestly without wanting to alter it to make someone want to comment.

(you know, kind of like a damned popularity contest.)

another one?!?!

Yes. another one.

I think I'm going to start writing here instead. I just feel like my xanga site has become so commercial. I'm not sure if that's the appropriate word but I just feel like people only read it because it's on their subscription list and it's there when they check that. I'm so tired of it anyway, and I want just to have a clean, nice place to write.

Anyway, I'm currently working on one of my two papers due that basically determine my letter grade in each of the classes they are due for. I've already written most of it - in fact I'm on the last section and that's when my brain decides to quit on me. Don't you just love getting writer's block at the worst time possible?

Ack, so to remedy my writer's block I'm writing freely in this new journal. I'm hoping it'll open my brain up so I can continue with the flow of words.

To get my brain going, I asked my fellow lab partner how he wrote the last paragraph, and he quoted me a section of his paper just for guidance. I read it and hung my head in shame; he wrote at such a sophisticated, professional college level. My paper sounds like one written by a high schooler, and that's being on the ncie side.. It might even sound like something from a middle schooler.

Why does my writing suck? Why can't I make it more eloquent and sophisticated? I guess it's something that comes with....

with...what? Age? No.
Practice? No.
Studying SAT Vocabulary Words? Perhaps. Cuz I haven't done THAT since high school. And the last time I checked, high school was when my writing was top notch.